Trust Without Borders

Oceans. Every worship band was singing this song when Hillsong released it in 2013. I remember singing it almost every week with my tiny high school at chapel. I sang the words and that’s about it.

A few years later, the same song has a whole new meaning and it’s become one of my go-to worship songs when I am craving connection with Jesus. Now when I sing that song, I’ve come to realize how powerful it is. When I was 15 and singing it, I had no idea the power I was singing and what I was asking the Lord to do with me. 

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.”

This is my favorite line in the song and it is so powerful. When I sing this, I am asking God to take me to a place where my trust exists without any walls or safety. In the last few years, I’ve experienced a multitude of times where my faith was taken to its max. Where all I could do was surrender my trust to Jesus. Nothing felt settled as I white-knuckled everything in my life. I had to learn how to let go and give every area of my life to God. A much easier venture spoken for than put into action. 

Every time I am taken to a place where I need to trust the Lord more, He takes me to a place deeper than I could ever imagine. Each time more challenging than the last, but with Jesus, I am able to walk through un-singed from the fires of life. 

Pastor Michael Todd of Transformation church did a series called Crazy Faith where he talked about “wavy faith”. He used the story of Peter walking on water when preaching on this. Wavy faith is when we are asked to step out of the safety of our boat and walk on the water with Jesus. One main point was that Jesus wants us to step out of  the boat and walk with him. Since we’re human, we get scared out there with Jesus and want to crawl back to the boat. 

I have experienced this so many times in my own life. Sometimes with things as silly as sports. I remember playing volleyball and asking God to help me out because I struggled so much and had to work so hard to be on the teams I was playing on. I had to work EXTREMELY hard to get a spot off the bench and to keep it. My season I played in college I ended up playing only because we had so many injuries on the team. With a torn meniscus, I was the less injured of the injured and got to play. 

Any game that I was doing well in was not me, It was Jesus and nothing else. When I was doing well in games, I was dreading the next error I would make before it even happened. Instead of celebrating and playing with true confidence, I was a stress ball. With a lot of hard work put in, I was getting good and earning the respect of all my coaches and teammates. Then my back went out and I made the decision to stop playing. It wasn’t an easy choice to make, but it was the right one. 

In this time, I wasn’t very faithful to the Lord. I was confused and angry and wishing I had been dealt different cards. I was only praying occasionally, and my faith was weak. Even still, Jesus had my back the whole way. He was guiding me  home and working out my path. I had gotten myself into college volleyball off of pure determination and I got out of it only by the grace of God. 

All of the tough things I learned in that time were valuable lessons I get to carry with me for the rest of my life. They have taught me that I cannot control the cards I’m dealt nor predict how other people will react to me. Through these trials I have had to let go of any pride and realize my true value only comes from Jesus and His love for me. 

Playing college volleyball, quitting college volleyball, moving home, transferring schools, and going through a tough break-up are areas where my faith was made stronger.

“Where my faith will be made stronger // in the presence of my savior” 

This line puts it so beautifully, and I am a strong believer in the cliche , if God brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it. The trials I’ve faced on this  side of my volleyball career have been harder, but I’ve been able to walk through it more whole because of the trust I have in Jesus. 

I’m not perfect, I never will be, but I know a God who is greater than all my silly mistakes. I serve a savior who has my best interest in mind and knows my heart. I have a God whose yolk is easy and His burden is light. I know a Jesus who took on my sins so that I could have a relationship with the One who created me. 

Having trust without borders is not easy. It requires giving up all control I want to have on my life. As a Christian, I give God my yes and my everything as a response to the love he has given me first. He returns what I give Him and makes it so much better. 

That’s the trust I hang on to. I have to spend time with Jesus and get to know his heart for me so I can give him my everything. Some days are easy and some days I want to sulk in sadness and replay the past. All we have is this moment and like Jesus tells us, “each day has enough worries of its own” Matthew 6:33

I challenge you to listen to oceans when you have time. Maybe in your car or as you’re getting ready for the day or to go to bed. Listen to the words carefully and make them your prayer. Work on trusting God with every area of your life. 

All my love,

Hailey